What The Hell Happened, Kings Of Leon? By Dan Gathers.

   There are, throughout history, times when a group of people come together to make something awesome, inspiring, and completely kick ass. In this case, we are specifically referring to music and how it can shape the minds and hearts of angsty people the world over. Music like the kind made by Kings Of Leon. Who can forget the wild nights turned on by the whiskey-fueled screaming and slurring of KOL front man Anthony Caleb Followill? I can't tell you how many times I got a much needed boost of man-the-fuck-up-ittude from classics like; "Wicker Chair," "Black Thumbnail," or the blood churning "Four Kicks." They were there when I had challenging break-ups, fights with friends, and just when I needed to kick out some fucking jams. But for the last two releases they have switched tracks, and lost some of that angry, alcohol induced momentum. And not to mention, the fun and raw sound that made them unabashedly abso-fucking-lutely great. Lets take a glaring look at the hipster-rockers whom, however brief, brought rock and roll back from the dead only to hogtie it, drive it out to the middle of the desert, and put two in the back of its head.


It got what was coming to it.

   Way  back in 1999, four young men came together to become what is now known as Kings Of Leon. With their debut EP Holy Roller Novocaine, they completely blew off everyone's lid. It had been a long time, at that point, since the music world had heard such power and attitude, the two main components that make up what is known as "Rock." After another EP, and some heavy drinking, they managed to power-fuck our ears with their first full length album Youth and Young Manhood. Things were going well for the four desperados of rock. They were touring like mad and making a name for themselves.


As well as looking tragically mopey-cool.

   Then, in 2004, they commenced the ear-fucking once again with their second full length Aha Shake Heartbreak. This album in question was filled to the brim with singles, I mean, "The Bucket?" Fuck yeah. "King of The Rodeo?" I listened to that song on blast so much my ears bled for a week. Yes it seemed nothing could stop KOL in their quest to, rightfullly and finally, mend Rock and Rolls' tattered, bruised, and cum-soaked corpse while single-handedly taking it away from its captors: Big Music.


Allright, lets dig it up and clean it off. We gots faces to melt.

   After Rock and Roll had been nursed back to health with a healthy dose of cocaine and whiskey, they started working on their (yes, opinion) best album YET, Because of The Times. Said album had so much substance, so much grace, yet still is able to peel back the skin that once was your face. Sure, it was more polished, yeah. But playing it could still make all panties within a ten mile radius drop. It could still make you want to chug a bottle of Makers Mark and punch through the nearest persons face. Then, with no warning whatsoever, this happened ...


Corporate cock-sucking at its finest.

   When they announced this album, I'll admit, I got excited. Like, piss your pants, titter like a japanese schoolgirl excited. My joy and excitement quickly fell sway to unbelievable anger when I heard the album, in its entirety. Sure, "Sex On Fire" isn't terrible. The same goes for "Closer:" not terrible, but lacking just the same. It took me a while, and a few listens, to figure what exactly sucked so much about this album: lack of passion. See in America, they weren't (before and at the time of the album in question) very big per-se. They got radio play, still were able to book shows, and were more or less filling up these shows. But what most people didn't know was that they were incredibly fucking huge practically everywhere else. In Britain they were The Beatles status, playing sold-out stadium shows to thousands of screaming fans. Same goes for Japan. But America, for whatever reason, just didn't seem to give a shit - as always. So, in an effort to make their own country see how fucking badass they were, they changed their style up to be more radio friendly. And that leads us to this ...


...

What the hell happened, guys?